Stress tests our emotional intelligence (or unintelligence). It acts as a trigger for our emotions and asks, “How are you going to handle this?” Stress is not the problem. How we perceive it and respond to it is potentially the problem. When circumstances stress us beyond the norm, it is only then that stress tests us in any way. Therefore, being prepared with ten tools and a plan to react intelligently when stress appears is of paramount concern to those who want to be emotionally intelligent. It’s time we learn and examined the best tools for managing the emotions of stress.
Fashion Your Own Tools to Manage the Emotions of Stress
Since many good books have been written about stress and don’t need rewriting, I will endeavor to focus on how to fashion your own tools according to the way you are made and function. You may have heard of “coping skills.” This will not be the same as learning generic coping skills. We will begin with questions to get the root of the problem. Then we will apply the tools of emotional intelligence.
The Temperaments and Stress
First, we must be aware that stress is handled differently by each temperament. This makes it impossible for some temperaments to effectively use some coping skills while, for others, the same skills may work well.
Common Factors to Watch for in Each Temperament
SP
For the SP, stress is usually avoided by finding something to do that excites or stimulates: in effect, changing focus.
SJ
The SJ takes stress seriously and tends to work even harder when stress has overwhelmed them. Stress sometimes even makes them less efficient. In the SJ, it can also lead to falling apart in feelings of insecurity. Stress is a serious challenge to the SJ.
NT
The NT puts stressful issues aside if they are already absorbed with a task or project. Stress is like emotion to them: an unwelcome visitor and a nuisance.
NF
It’s complicated with the NF. The NFJs react with concern when stressed. They will plan to overcome it by adjusting the possibilities of the future and the deadlines for tasks to which they have already committed. The NFPs avoid stress (like the SP does) or it will do its damage to a life that is focused on the meaning and significance of every present moment.
Overall, stress in the NF can awaken dormant energies, produce a plan and a calm response to having things planned, cause havoc and more stress, or simply be avoided.
In our next article, we’ll address “Questions to Ask that Will Lead to Helpful Tools”. Until then…
Resources to Help You:
THE WONDERFUL TRUTH ABOUT EMOTION
Are there such things as intelligent emotions? Intelligently Emotional will argue that there are. And they are the ones we must focus on if we want to know success.
Ray W. Lincoln will show us how understanding the patterns of emotion in our temperament will enable us to manage our emotions effectively. If you long to know how to understand your emotions and the immense power of your feelings, Intelligently Emotional will show you the way. The path to real emotional intelligence requires learning to partner with intelligent emotions.
DISCOVER THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE!
Lean into the whole truth. Discover the truth of who YOU are — the “Real You” — and who your children truly are. Discover how to best engage your children in finding the whole truth. INNERKINETICS, Your Blueprint to Excellence will guide you in that
Our team at InnerKinetics is ready to provide that help, too. If you’d like some assistance, you can request a consultation. An InnerKinetics consultant will call you to answer questions and schedule your meeting. Schedule an Initial Consultation. Alternatively, if you are more independent and want to cut to the chase, you need not wait for a call back. You can get answers to your questions and schedule your session HERE.
Our first and most important task in a world-changing mission is to learn how to think straight (and teach straight thinking) and combat the insurgence of crooked thinking in our culture and in our world today. If we become passive victims of this crooked way of thinking, we promote it. Furthermore, if we remain silent, we also give it credence. In Who Am I?, the reader progresses from how we have become “crooked thinkers” to how to break out of this prison of the mind to become instruments of change for a better world. We do this by recognizing from where we derive our value as humans. “Build a straight and powerful mind.” ~ Ray W. Lincoln