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As we discussed in two previous articles, there are four tools we should employ to harness our runaway emotions and gain high EQ. Those tools, to reiterate, are breathing, applying your “brakes”, resisting negative thoughts, and long-term training of your mind. And as we mentioned, the amygdala is not only the speedster in the brain, always grabbing the first response to any concern, but it is also the hot spot of emotional response. How can we cool this warning device? Two methods will help in the long term to train our minds and cool the amygdala.
First Method: Revisit and Rewrite
Our memories of past emotional responses can be revisited and rewritten. Anyone can do this. Simply recall the experience that caused you to be emotionally traumatized and then think through why you don’t need to react with such emotional heat. Cool your thoughts about the need to be so upset. In your mind, see yourself acting with emotional control. This is called “rewriting the memory.”
Build strong, helpful memories by rehearsing these new thoughts and preparing yourself for milder future replays when this memory is triggered again.
Method Two: Delayed Gratification
Learn to postpone gratification. The need for immediate satisfaction leads to poor emotional intelligence. When we were young, we felt we were in control of ourselves, but our decisions often told a different story. We wanted everything now, and our emotions flared in response to our wishes. Practicing postponing gratification is an excellent tool of intelligence that we all need. Not only does it remind us of the power of our emotions, but of the wisdom of a bit of self-denial.
As we age, we tend to relax our self-discipline because we feel we have earned a break from life’s pressures. Isn’t that what retirement is all about for most people? However, it’s a trap that sounds reasonable, but it is never wise. Vigilance over the ever-present power of negative emotions cannot be relaxed at any age.
Conclusion
With these intelligent responses, we will have a far greater chance of emotional control and wisdom.
EQ is more important to successful living than IQ. Use these tools and become a master of your emotions. Don’t give up if you don’t succeed quickly. You may have a big hole to dig yourself out of. You will grow and, in the process, recast the landscape of your mind. Successful control and a higher EQ are just ahead.
Resources to Help You:
THE WONDERFUL TRUTH ABOUT EMOTION
Are there such things as intelligent emotions? Intelligently Emotional will argue that there are. And they are the ones we must focus on if we want to know success.
Ray W. Lincoln will demonstrate how understanding the patterns of emotion in our temperament enables us to manage our emotions effectively. If you long to know how to understand your emotions and the immense power of your feelings, Intelligently Emotional will show you the way. The path to real emotional intelligence requires learning to partner with intelligent emotions.
DISCOVER THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE!
Lean into the whole truth. Discover the truth of who YOU are — the “Real You” — and who your children truly are. Learn how to effectively engage your children in discovering the whole truth. INNERKINETICS, Your Blueprint to Excellence, will guide you in that
Our team at InnerKinetics is ready to provide that help, too. If you’d like some assistance, you can request a consultation. An InnerKinetics consultant will call you to answer questions and schedule your meeting. Schedule an Initial Consultation. Alternatively, if you prefer to be more independent and want to cut to the chase, you don’t need to wait for a callback. You can get answers to your questions and schedule your session HERE.
Our first and most important task in a world-changing mission is to learn how to think straight (and teach straight thinking) and combat the insurgency of crooked thinking in our culture and in the world today. If we become passive victims of this crooked way of thinking, we promote it. Furthermore, if we remain silent, we also give it credence. In Who Am I?, the reader progresses from how we have become “crooked thinkers” to how to break out of this prison of the mind to become instruments of change for a better world. We achieve this by recognizing the source of our value as humans. “Build a straight and powerful mind.” ~ Ray W. Lincoln