Runaway emotions are not respecters of which temperament we happen to be. Each temperament handles or mishandles runaway emotions with different goals, pressures, and methods. The cool, calm NT is not necessarily a master at handling emotion, although it may seem that way (annoyingly sometime) to the passionate NF. And the optimistic, free spirit that an SJ occasionally observes in the SP as “irresponsible” does not necessarily mishandle runaway emotions, either. Let’s take a look at each of the temperaments and how they might handle/mishandle runaway emotions.
In-the-Moment SP
The SP is always in the moment, and sometimes that moment can offer a pleasure or excitement that is to them, in that moment, irresistible. If some person or thing blocks their urge, their goal becomes the neutralizing of the opposing force at any cost. Their anger can reach violent proportions quickly and remain until a solution has been reached.
In comparison to other temperaments, however, the SP’s anger quickly subsides and all is back to normal. The tantrum has a goal, recognized or not. Its accomplishment is what the tantrum is all about — a tantrum with a clear purpose. This is typical for the SP. But, of course, other patterns can emerge and can be borrowed from other temperaments for the same purpose. A change of focus to some other desirable alternative is the SP’s path to lasting control.
The SJ’s Goal Produces Runaway Emotions When Control Is Lost
To provoke the SJ is not so quick or easy. Their anger grows more slowly and becomes a stubborn determination that can simmer for days. It is not hurt, as in the NF; or the quick flash of anger, as in the SP. It is the setting of a mood or attitude that demands control of others and their environment.
The SJ feels insecure if they are not in control. Therefore, the loss of control is the issue and temper can be the tool of choice to regain control. If it works, the SJ will to resort to it more and more as the urge to control gains strength. For the SJ, an educated approach to realizing the benefits of not over-using control is the only real lasting path to emotionally intelligent behavior.
NT’s Fear Runaway Emotions
The NTs may be the slowest to display anger because they want to keep all appearances of emotion tightly locked away, presenting a cool, calm, almost removed expression in the face of tensions. Therefore, when they do throw a fit of rage, it is an extreme attempt to overpower whatever is keeping them from their concentrated focus on the task at hand or their chosen goal.
However, if they show repeated displays of anger, their annoyance at themselves may also be in play, since they hate the very fact that they have not controlled their emotions and have displayed what is to them a serious weakness. The restoration of self-esteem produced by success with their ingenious ideas, together with learning how to return to their typical calm, is the best road to emotional control.
NFs Are Likely to Have MULTIPLE Runaway Emotions at Once
For the NF, things are more involved. A number of emotions are typically intertwined. It’s not just one emotion that has run wild, but several have joined the field. Furthermore, just which of those emotions is the primary offending feeling is not clear — even to the NF. Anger may be mixed with hurt, self depreciation, and loss of harmony, aggravated by a sense of injustice. The focus goes back and forth from one to the other. Diagnosis of the main cause initially evades them.
Are they the only ones to suffer from a multiplicity of emotions? No. But almost every time, the NF is faced with one emotion sparking a chain reaction among their feelings. Other temperaments can usually sort out which is the main offending emotion and focus on its replacement. In short, the tensions are greater for the super sensitive NF and more complex when emotions run away in a wild frenzy.
Hurt Predominates for the NF
The hurt usually predominates. So for the NF, the recovery of harmony and love is the only real solution to the immediate problem. And the development of an intelligent understanding of themselves, together with the strengthening of a strong self-image, will lead to more permanent control.
Self-esteem Is a Key Factor in the NF’s Success
Perhaps a word about the importance of a stronger self-esteem is needed. NFs, who have a low belief in themselves, destroy the motivation that a strong belief gives them. Belief drives the human system. And they need this, above all, to handle their powerful emotions and lessen the power of surges of multiple emotions at one time.
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THE WONDERFUL TRUTH ABOUT EMOTION
Are there such things as intelligent emotions? Intelligently Emotional will argue that there are. And they are the ones we must focus on if we want to know success.
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