Ask yourself, “Do I see the opportunities in my stresses? The SP sees every present moment as an opportunity. What a wonderful stress repellent. The NT, who is typically lost in their project, regards the project as the opportunity. The NF, who lives in constant hope of a dream coming true, produces their own optimism. NFs see the opportunities in their dreams.
Optimism Loves Opportunities
To an optimistic mind nothing is purely bad or only fateful news. When all seems lost, the future still brings its surprises into our lives if we are watchful. Ask, “Is there any opportunity hidden in the stress — short term or long term?” Search for it. Open your mind and believe in possibilities.
The emotionally intelligent see negative stress as a potential demon, not a safe retreat. They learn to handle stress and manage its downside quickly. They open themselves up to risk and taking small steps, if need be. Then, they work toward counting on success instead of failure. Opportunities freshen up our lives and renew them. And, even if they are only dreams, hope lives eternal in a dream.
Pessimism Favors the Downside
The SJ is more inclined to look on the dark side and prepare for the downside. Opportunities for things to go wrong exist alongside of opportunities for things to go well. To prepare for a possible loss makes sense to the mind that leans toward cautious, risk-free behavior.
For some SJs, the problem with adopting a more optimistic attitude is an ingrained belief system that denies optimism’s validity. Negative emotions can plague SJs. But when living in their weaknesses, they prefer the “security” of preparing for the worst and hoping for a little better.
How to Find Opportunities
Asking this question (“Do I see the opportunities in my stresses?) leads to asking “How can I find the opportunities?” Visualization, dreaming, and persistent watchfulness are the tools that will open up the mind, as does an active imagination. Intuition is a likely tool as well. Once the mind is open to opportunities, they will come. Evaluating them is the next step.
What Qualifies as an Opportunity?
Any idea, no matter how absurd, qualifies for evaluation. It’s in the evaluating that the idea can lead to another idea and creativity can engage the mind. Therefore, an opportunity is valuable, not just for what it offers but also for where it may lead. If an idea generates passion, it can then be analyzed in terms of available resources, practicality, and the steps it would take to bring it to reality.
What Conditions Repeatedly Increase My Stress?
Any temperament can develop unconscious acceptance of stressful conditions. If we have consistently faced a particular external pressure, we might be inclined to accept its presence as normal. If we have always had trouble with controlling our anger, we could come to the place where we give up and accept that we are simply built this way and cannot expect to control it. Those who are weary in well-doing are also tempted to accept their stress.
Can You See the Opportunity in Knowing Your Stressors?
Repeated stressful circumstances or situations wear on our resilience and reserves. Knowing what is straining us gives us the opportunity to be proactive and develop likely responses that are emotionally intelligent and to manage our resources more intelligently. These positive responses are the tools we need to create, memorize, and use consistently.
When irritable, you should immediately know that you have overspent your inner resources, and you should set about recharging them. Extroverts and introverts go about it differently. Learn how you react and how you can best react. And above all, acknowledge how you have been made.
Will Reduced Expectations Reduce Stress?
For all who are rich in feelings, dashed expectations can lead to an emotional meltdown. Failed expectations, when they have been “lived” with a high degree of reality in the imagination, can bring a feeling of disappointment that can crush the most determined spirit. We can fear the letdown of disappointment and allow it to overcome us, or we can face it with the emotional strength of hope.
A strong mental set is required to live above this mental fall. In some who are prone to depression, the fall can be the beginning of a serious slide. Passionate beliefs form strong mental sets, so develop them. What will fireproof you from obsessive disappointment?
Reducing your expectations may keep disappointment at bay.
Managing the disappointment by developing a mental calm whenever it strikes works at controlling the emotional response itself. This requires the discipline of a strong willpower, so develop it and use it. Most of us can be really stubborn when we want to.
Develop realistic expectations about yourself. What can you control and what can you not control? Live within your current ability to control your emotions, avoiding circumstances that can defeat you. As you grow in strength, increase what you can safely handle.
When We Can’t Escape Stress, What Then?
Remember, stress is created and aggravated by our responses to whatever situation we face. Sometimes we can change our responses and, if so, this can be the best step to take. When the stress has controlled us, or when we are doing our best to control the stress and still can’t do enough, these coping tools may help.
The most used coping measures are:
- Exercise.
- Breathing exercises.
- Time out to refresh.
- Turning to the positive strengths of our temperament for fulfillment.
- Expelling the negative emotions by focusing on their opposite emotion. For example: love instead of hate, trust instead of fear and worry.
- Remove, as far as possible, all other stress in your life, and view the rest with hope.
- Remember, it is our interpretation of our stresses that make them damage us or not.
Now that we’ve asked the questions, let’s find the tools to help us. See you again soon.
Resources to Help You:
THE WONDERFUL TRUTH ABOUT EMOTION
Are there such things as intelligent emotions? Intelligently Emotional will argue that there are. And they are the ones we must focus on if we want to know success.
Ray W. Lincoln will show us how understanding the patterns of emotion in our temperament will enable us to manage our emotions effectively. If you long to know how to understand your emotions and the immense power of your feelings, Intelligently Emotional will show you the way. The path to real emotional intelligence requires learning to partner with intelligent emotions.
DISCOVER THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE!
Lean into the whole truth. Discover the truth of who YOU are — the “Real You” — and who your children truly are. Discover how to best engage your children in finding the whole truth. INNERKINETICS, Your Blueprint to Excellence will guide you in that
Our team at InnerKinetics is ready to provide that help, too. If you’d like some assistance, you can request a consultation. An InnerKinetics consultant will call you to answer questions and schedule your meeting. Schedule an Initial Consultation. Alternatively, if you are more independent and want to cut to the chase, you need not wait for a call back. You can get answers to your questions and schedule your session HERE.
Our first and most important task in a world-changing mission is to learn how to think straight (and teach straight thinking) and combat the insurgence of crooked thinking in our culture and in our world today. If we become passive victims of this crooked way of thinking, we promote it. Furthermore, if we remain silent, we also give it credence. In Who Am I?, the reader progresses from how we have become “crooked thinkers” to how to break out of this prison of the mind to become instruments of change for a better world. We do this by recognizing from where we derive our value as humans. “Build a straight and powerful mind.” ~ Ray W. Lincoln