Two temperaments down and two to go. To continue, today, let’s look at the calm NT. I say “calm” because that is the NT’s prime emotion and their main emotion when they are performing in a high EQ state. Yes, calm is and emotion. And the NT personifies it so well that it makes some wonder whether they even have emotion. Oh, yes! They do! Accordingly, proper use of their dominant emotions is what helps them to achieve a high EQ — just like all the other temperaments. Again, we will look at three of the NT’s emotions and how they should and shouldn’t be used. High EQ is the goal!
Achieving the Calm NT’s High EQ
Time Is Relevant to the Task
When the NT disappears into their ingenious mode of creating something new, they also create a feeling of satisfaction that feeds their spirit. In fact, when deeply troubled, the NT can find a refuge in this strength.
So strong is their focus on creating something new that they feel only the pressure of their project, which they follow with complete abandon. Logic calls them and they feel all is right with themselves when they are immersed in its pursuit.
However, for the NT, emotions must be kept under lock and key. Focus, calmness, and rationality are their favored tools to achieve this goal, contributing to their “calm NT” persona.
Nonuse: An NT whose mind is not engrossed with some project is fair game for fears, doubts and skepticism aimed at destroying their own sense of worth. The NT’s mind is their favored retreat. Furthermore, when it is not used, they become easy targets for emotional meltdowns.
Overuse: Locked away in their mental hideouts, NTs can lose all earthly connections. They can neglect social life and dismiss the routines of life. Blinders restrict their vision, and seeing only what lies in the path of their project can cause a loss of emotional control — the loss of emotion itself. “No emotion” is not emotional intelligence. It is emotional immaturity. An NT, unlike the NF, lives with the danger of underdeveloped emotions and a life robbed of emotion’s rewards.
Misuse: Inconsideration for the lives and needs of others can result from a misuse of this strength. The NT neglects the little connections in life that result from manners and notes of gratitude in favor of what the NT sees as a “higher” goal. As a result, emotional wastelands claim an otherwise fertile mind.
Calm, Cool and Collected Produces a Calm NT
That image of outward calm, which is a hallmark of the NT, paves the way for emotional control. When our bodily expressions are under control, so are our emotions to some extent. On the other hand, when we seldom talk, we also escape a myriad of emotional traps. The NT uses slowness to speak as a tool for emotional control.
Cool helps, too. Emotion is heat. Therefore, a cool demeanor at least dampens the expression of undesired emotions. When not overused, this is a key to emotional mastery.
Nonuse: The NT must, for self-image needs, be calm, cool and collected. Conversely, when they are not, they begin to dislike themselves and feel that they are actually losing control of their lives or the environment in which they move. In their own way, NTs are control freaks. But they usually aim that control at self management rather than the management of others.
Overuse: When overused, this strength creates the world’s frozen people. Emotion is needed to keep us human. A distinguishing factor of humanity is the way we express our care for each other. Humanitarianism is dependent on empathy and love, which are full of emotional responses. Our emotional engine is not built to run efficiently in cold temperatures. However, as valuable as a cool appearance is for emotional control, we must not overdue it or we fail to function warmly as emotional creatures.
Misuse: Often, when the NT is in their weaknesses, they use the cool, calm NT spirit as a weapon to disturb or even control others. As a result, the strength is then a tool for damaging others. NTs must find the medium for the correct use of this strength in order for it to remain a pure attempt at controlling their own emotions rather than controlling or avenging others. Passive-aggressive behavior is all too easy for the NT.
Questioning, Skeptical
A number of the NT’s strengths can be beneficial in producing emotional control. Strategic thinking, independence, what makes sense — all are valuable tools. However, in choosing one of these remaining drives, I have settled arbitrarily on “questioning, skeptical.”
We face a much needed strength that, although it is prominent in the NT temperament, is present and helpful in all temperaments and makes emotional control possible. Remember, we said that emotions judge on first appearances and can be wrong. So, healthy questioning of our emotions helps greatly in reestablishing emotional control after our emotions have surged and before they settle into an established mood.
Questioning is a rational act. And skepticism is a rational attitude. When correctly used, they amount to an examination of the rational base of our emotional response. Do we have good reason for this emotion? Should we continue it? Would some other response be better? Emotional intelligence somehow always involves the rational mind.
Nonuse: So fundamental to their makeup is this questioning that when the NT fails to use this strength, they become someone else. Accepting at face value anything or any person seems wrong to them. Therefore, nonuse is rare in the NT.
Overuse: Overuse by the NT is common. Nothing is taken on trust. And (like the disciple, Thomas) evidence that is satisfactory to the NT is always needed. But faith and trust are the essence of relationships and the power behind much that life requires of us. As a result, overuse can lead to damaging relationships (or at least minimizing them). At the same time it can create a road block to progress in thinking and living. The emotional benefits of trust and acceptance are jettisoned.
Misuse: A skeptical attitude can lead to an intellectual pride — an emotion some NTs seem to release from their emotional prison with pride. Pride in one’s skepticism can quickly lead to pride in any pursuit, always breaking down and seldom lifting up. Doubt, instead of being a positive evaluator, becomes a negative tool for taring down anything they cannot believe in.
This emotional negativism is far from emotional intelligence. Even when skepticism is used as an intellectual necessity, the heat of renunciation of other people’s ideas creates a negative emotional climate in themselves and in others.
Next, we’ll move on to examine how to achieve the high EQ of our final temperament, the NF.
Resources to Help You:
THE WONDERFUL TRUTH ABOUT EMOTION
Are there such things as intelligent emotions? Intelligently Emotional will argue that there are. And they are the ones we must focus on if we want to know success.
Ray W. Lincoln will show us how understanding the patterns of emotion in our temperament will enable us to manage our emotions effectively. If you long to know how to understand your emotions and the immense power of your feelings, Intelligently Emotional will show you the way. The path to real emotional intelligence requires learning to partner with intelligent emotions.
DISCOVER THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE!
Lean into the whole truth. Discover the truth of who YOU are — the “Real You” — and who your children truly are. Discover how to best engage your children in finding the whole truth. INNERKINETICS, Your Blueprint to Excellence will guide you in that
Our team at InnerKinetics is ready to provide that help, too. If you’d like some assistance, you can request a consultation. An InnerKinetics consultant will call you to answer questions and schedule your meeting. Schedule an Initial Consultation. Alternatively, if you are more independent and want to cut to the chase, you need not wait for a call back. You can get answers to your questions and schedule your session HERE.
Our first and most important task in a world-changing mission is to learn how to think straight (and teach straight thinking) and combat the insurgence of crooked thinking in our culture and in our world today. If we become passive victims of this crooked way of thinking, we promote it. Furthermore, if we remain silent, we also give it credence. In Who Am I?, the reader progresses from how we have become “crooked thinkers” to how to break out of this prison of the mind to become instruments of change for a better world. We do this by recognizing from where we derive our value as humans. “Build a straight and powerful mind.” ~ Ray W. Lincoln