It seems to follow that if our thoughts can passively turn our emotions on, we can also purposefully turn them on by imagining or thinking something that has emotive content.  And we can use this ability to manipulate our emotions not only to bring a tear when acting in a play, but to manipulate others.

We Learn to Manipulate Our Emotions in Childhood 

Children discover this ability to manipulate early.  First, they cry to get fed, and it works!  It is simply a matter of learning that this display of emotion offers all kinds of possibilities and manipulation by the use of emotions becomes ingrained.  

Then children catch on to the fact that they can make tears or anger happen at will.  What a discovery!  The potential for this discovery is almost endless and, as each year goes by, they hone their skills.

Manipulating Our Emotions Has a Downside 

A downside is also learned that halts the use.  When their manipulation is uncovered, they find that people hate to be manipulated.  They also find that others are manipulating them.  At this point, a simple discovery about their emotions and how to handle them becomes a complex matter affecting all their relationships. 

Emotional Intelligence to the Rescue!

Emotional intelligence must come to the rescue or they are left with an inability to socially engage without damaging their relationships.

Learning to Fear Our Emotions

Our experiences with emotion teach us to fear them. 

The NT fears the loss of concentration that emotions can cause. 

The SJ fears all the emotions that cause them to lose control and experience insecurity.  

The SP fears sadness and any emotion that robs them of the excitement of the present moment. 

The NF fears all negative emotions that cause them to explode or implode.  Their anger, for example, can be stirred in less than a moment and at the wrong time, causing them a potential social catastrophe.   But another fear looms big for the NF: the loss of self-esteem.  How can they feel worthy when they can’t seem to manage those crushing emotions?

A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy 

Fear of our emotions only generates another negative emotion to deal with, and a very powerful one at that.  Fear of our emotions becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  In fact, it often (in the NF in particular) ignites other negative emotions.  We are not referring to the fear of fear (although that is an issue in emotional control), but  to the fear of emotions and their powers.  

 Next, we’ll focus on a way to stay in control so that we need not fear our emotions.

Resources to Help You:

THE WONDERFUL TRUTH ABOUT EMOTION

Are there such things as intelligent emotions? Intelligently Emotional will argue that there are. And they are the ones we must focus on if we want to know success.

Ray W. Lincoln will show us how understanding the patterns of emotion in our temperament will enable us to manage our emotions effectively. If you long to know how to understand your emotions and the immense power of your feelings, Intelligently Emotional  will show you the way.  The path to real emotional intelligence requires learning to partner with intelligent emotions.

DISCOVER THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE!

Lean into the whole truth.  Discover the truth of who YOU are — the “Real You” — and who your children truly are.  Discover how to best engage your children in finding the whole truth.  INNERKINETICS, Your Blueprint to Excellence will guide you in that

Our team at InnerKinetics is ready to provide that help, too.  If you’d like some assistance, you can request a consultation.  An InnerKinetics consultant will call you to answer questions and schedule your meeting. Schedule an Initial Consultation. Alternatively, if you are more independent and want to cut to the chase, you need not wait for a call back. You can get answers to your questions and schedule your session HERE.

Our first and most important task in a world-changing mission is to learn how to think straight (and teach straight thinking) and combat the insurgence of crooked thinking in our culture and in our world today. If we become passive victims of this crooked way of thinking, we promote it. Furthermore, if we remain silent, we also give it credence. In Who Am I?, the reader progresses from how we have become “crooked thinkers” to how to break out of this prison of the mind to become instruments of change for a better world.  We do this by recognizing from where we derive our value as humans. “Build a straight and powerful mind.” ~ Ray W. Lincoln