We stand in the doorway to our minds. What does that mean? Let me paint a mental picture that may help us see what is happening in our mind. There is no door in this entryway into our mind; it is only a doorway. Therefore, we cannot shut everything out of our mind. You could say that we have perpetually “open minds.”  We will actually have a hard job keeping out what we don’t want to let in. Have you found that to be true?

 We Can’t Block Things from Our Open Minds

First, why is this true? Because persistent thoughts mean the mind and the brain are repeating thoughts.  And remember, repetition is what the brain loves and uses to develop new circuits or highways in the brain. So, persistent thoughts we don’t want are doing exactly what we don’t want done. But consider this further complication: Emotions quickly join persistent thoughts, and we find that the emotional force that both thoughts and feelings develop make them, together, almost irresistible. The longer this repeats itself in our mind and brain, the more difficult it will become to shunt both of them out. It’s now “them,” both the thoughts and the feelings, that must be ejected if we are to stop the obsessive, disturbing repetitions.

Which Is the Hardest to Eject — Thoughts or Feelings?

Which will be the hardest to eject, thoughts or feelings? You guessed it — the feelings. They have clung like a leech to our rational justification of our thoughts and fused a powerful partnership. Let me illustrate. Let’s say you feel inside of you the building of a hatred toward someone for what they have done to you. You then convince yourself that you have every right and reason to feel this way. The hate feelings increase and you feel more than justified to hurt them back. You have now been possessed by this (shall we call it an ugly demon?) and you know this is bad, destructive of who you really are.  Your mind is in a mess. You will often get advice to respond with violence by punching a bag to get the anger and the whole mess out. Whoever advises you to do that is totally wrong.  Break your tie with them quickly.

We Must Eject Unwelcome Thoughts from Our Open Minds

You see, the more you repeat your feelings of hatred the stronger they become. Oh, yes, you will feel some relief because you have told your bitter feelings to just sit down in a comfortable recliner in your mind and calm themselves. And this is what feels like the best thing you can do.  But in truth, it is abject failure. You have just built a response mechanism into your mind/brain that is not going to eject the hatred.  Instead, it will open a new path for all future responses or reinforce the one already there when you feel hurt, put down, or mistreated. You have failed when you have not shown your unwanted thoughts and feelings the back door. That’s is the only way to eject them. You have simply made these ugly thoughts that have found a way into your mind feel comfortable and welcome in your mind.

I feel all counselors who advise you to vent your anger perform a horrible disservice to every angry person because they then can never get rid of their damaging thoughts and feelings. These responses to any hurts and insults are now becoming the “normal” you.

The next article will take you on the journey of what to do to cleanse your mind and keep it functioning as it was designed, for your health, to function.