What do these final two letters that form our temperament’s profile tell us? The answer is: how we desire to live our lives. The two temperament lifestyles are again opposites, as were the previous pairs of options.
The “J” Temperament Lifestyle
The temperament lifestyles are opposite ways of finding our satisfying lifestyle. First, the “J” lifestyle.
This is the lifestyle that loves closure. If I have all the information I need to make a decision, this lifestyle urges me to get the decision made and move on. Of course, we must also settle the emotional elements in the decision. Therefore, the “J” lifestyle is driven to come to closure as soon as we are ready. It is a decisive lifestyle and happiest when we have made the decision and we can move on to the next challenge or excitement. Can you detect the distinct drive that sometimes — not always — leads to a more hurried style of living. The hurry, for some, can become an obsession.
The “P” Lifestyle Stands in Contrast
The “P” lifestyle does not want to come to closure. Even if these people have all the information needed to make a decision and have settled the emotional elements, they still don’t want to make the decision. Why? Because they want to keep experiencing the moment and they like to stretch each moment out so as to drain from it the most pleasure and satisfaction they can. They like to glide through life — not hurry through it — and smell the roses on the way. They might lose the satisfying joy they could potentially feel if they pass the roses by without stopping, appreciating, and smelling their fragrance.
So, as you may have understood, it is true that a T or an F can choose either of the two lifestyles. But it is more likely that the F will want to stop and smell the roses. (We dealt with T and F in a previous article).
Therefore, we could say that one temperament lifestyle is a driven lifestyle. And the other, more laid back, especially when it comes to closure. Here’s another look at the two lifestyles….
The P lifestyle may also display a struggle with time
Not wanting to come to closure may lead to behavior that struggles with time.
J LIFESTYLE
The boss wants a decision by Friday. The J lifestyle makes the decision by Thursday and lets the boss know immediately. Now the J can move on to something else get something else done, or relax, perhaps. The boss soon knows this person can be depended upon to get things moving and completed.
P LIFESTYLE
Waiting till Friday (and perhaps the last moment of Friday), the P lifestyle, who is not naturally driven to complete a task before the deadline, finds the boss arriving on Friday and saying “I want a decision now!” In response the P is likely, if still undecided, to throw out the first answer that comes to mind. And the boss soon learns not to take that decision to the bank. It was a premature answer.
But think of this: The J is likely to get the heart attack first while the P is likely to keep on enjoying some more of life’s many pleasures. The J may become an anxious, impatient person if they don’t guard against their constant urgency.
Which Is Your Temperament Lifestyle?
Which is you? Which would you like to be? Can you create a greater balance by moving toward the center between these two poles? Yes. And this is the only one of the four categories or elements of temperament that can be more readily managed (not changed, but managed) with concerted effort.
Lifestyle’s Affect on Relationships
One last thought to ponder if you are in a relationship or want to be in one:
When two people are different in their lifestyle preferences (one, a J and the other, a P), you must understand that it is the main cause of relationship breakups, because lifestyle is in your face every moment of the day. We can lessen the challenge with a good dose of determined understanding on the part of BOTH. Fulfilling relationships lie always in understanding our differences.
I’ve introduced all the letters of the Temperament Key. Now, let’s focus on some of the challenging issues connected with our strengths and weaknesses.
DISCOVER THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE!
Lean into the whole truth. Discover the truth of who YOU are — the “Real You” — and who your children truly are. Discover how to best engage your children in finding the whole truth. INNERKINETICS, Your Blueprint to Excellence and Happiness, is a great resource.
YOUR CHILD IS ALSO UNIQUE
It may surprise you, but your child is most probably a different temperament. They are unique individuals too. So even if they are the same temperament (two letters), they may be a different type (four letters). And the strength of their drives will different from yours as well. Your InnerKinetics (temperament) is not genetically passed on. Therefore, it is exceedingly important to understand your child. I’m a Keeper! is the resource you need to make that journey.
Our team at InnerKinetics is ready to provide that help, too. If you’d like some assistance, you can request a consultation. An InnerKinetics consultant will call you to answer questions and schedule your meeting. Schedule an Initial Consultation. If you are more independent and want to cut to the chase, you need not wait for a call back because you can get answers to your questions and schedule your session HERE.