The fear abates: “Oh what a relief!” InnerKinetics® consultants hear that all the time. “I always wondered why I was so impulsive,” say some clients; “… so sensitive,” say others; “… so constantly comparing myself to others or feeling I had to be right,” someone else will say. We all wonder why we are not like others. But others seem to want to make us like them and try to “guilt” us if we are not. Self-understanding brings relief from our fears and brings confidence.
It’s not so much guilt about being a bad person or just different, but it’s having them tell us we are not as responsible in making good decisions, whatever they are. It’s about always being judged as somehow inferior. Then one day we complete a temperament assessment and discover that we are not less than others. We are who we are, and that is not only okay — it is good!
I remember the stir of hope that a book written some decades ago created with its message: I’m OK, You’re OK!” Many found it a life renewer, but not enough to help them complete the task of being fully who they are.
Discovering our true selves dispels the fear and brings relief
It’s only when we discover why we feel, think and act the way we do that relief comes. We are who we are: different and wonderful, not different and needing to be changed. It’s a great relief to a sore self-esteem to feel good instead of bad, to feel clean — just simply normal and okay.
Life starts again when we don’t need the approval of others or the pat on the back to feel good about ourselves. Rather, we now know we are like many others who are gifted with strengths that are beneficial and important. We learn that the world needs us just like it needs the strengths of those who don’t see us as who or what they want us to be.
Are you going through life, wrestling with the fear that you are not worth as much as others and that your are more likely to be laughed at or just avoided? For most of us, fear holds us back. We — all of us — need to overcome our fears, and that starts with having no anxiety about our own value and worth.
Here is what to do to overcome this fear and feel a real sense of worth:
- Complete the InnerKinetics® Temperament Key (there’s one at the bottom of this page). Then read the detailed description of your temperament. (You will find one in INNERKINETICS*).
- Stand tall and realize that the way you have been designed is great.
- ‘Different’ means you have something unique that others need.
- Don’t let others put you down. If you don’t want to confront them, just ignore their statements and move on.
- Begin a deliberate effort to like and love the strengths that will shape who you are and the way you can influence your world.
The more we know ourselves, the better we will live. This is so life releasing, we will be able to fully reach our potential.
*INNERKINETICS, by Ray W. Lincoln, will give you a full description of your temperament and its strengths and will guide you in how to develop them.