We’ve been discussing boundaries and in the previous podcast, we discussed boundaries as they applied to the SP temperament. Let’s look at a very different temperament today: the SJ. SJs need to know that they are doing the right thing, so they are boundary conscious, making them possibly one of the easiest of the temperaments to set boundaries for. However, there are some specific things we must remember when setting boundaries for the SJ.
A Quick Reminder
Remember that even if you do not have an SJ, your child will have friends or cousins who are SJs and you will need to understand the effects of boundaries on the SJ for the purpose of interacting with those children and to help your child understand how boundaries may look a little different for others who are not of their same temperament.
Parenting, teaching, and leading are all easier when you know the temperaments you are dealing with and when you proceed according to who they really are.
Setting Boundaries Requires More than a Command
Setting boundaries is not just commanding that the child do something or not do something. The child needs to understand the boundary. This is especially true for the SJ. This “I’m right-you’re-wrong” arguer is coming from a deep need to:
- Be careful/cautious
- Do what is right
We should give adequate reasons for boundaries to the SJ. Emphasize what is right or wrong about the boundary. How and why is this the “right way”?
For the SJ, we’ll consider:
- What happens if it upsets their confidence?
- What is the difference between extroverted and introverted SJs?
- How do boundaries affect their self-image?
- The importance of how to communicate the boundary to the linear thinking SJ.
- How to use experiences to help teach and establish boundaries.
- The role of punishment.
- The SJ’s “Achilles heel”
- How to use fact and emotion with the SJ.
Let’s dig in!